Sunday, August 31, 2008
where is gingerfoxxx???
expect shenanigans.
i'll be back in a couple days with plenty of ginger awesomness, and i promise to make up for my lack of posting this past week. I am sorry to have let you down gingerfoxxx fans! and by fans, i mean rachel, hehe.
xoxo
Thursday, August 28, 2008
celebrate my inner ginger-bitch!
answer: taser parties.
I assure this is real, and quite possibly the most wonderful thing i have heard in a long time. who cares about storing a bundt cake when you can stun someone with a pink lepeord print rhinestone encrusted taser? Just when i lose faith in mankind, there is always something that comes along and reminds me how wonderful it is to live the fabulous consumer life in America! hands off my prada bag, slut! ZzZzZzZpPpPpP!!!!
thanks adbusters!
Gingerfoxxx <3's TaserGirl International!
Monday, August 25, 2008
love it!
now, i am fierce, but this bitch is a ginger TIGER! look at how confidently she strolls out of the mens room. she has nothing to hide. except maybe a penis?
i kid, i kid. although she does have a very strong, masculine jawline.....
In all fairness though, i once had to pee in the boys room. in a gas station! in my defense however, i was piss ass drunk having come from a party at UW en route back to Chicago (thats like a 3 hour drive....6 if your drunk and have to pee!) but i couldnt get the door open to the ladies room, (turns out my drunk feeble arms just couldn't cordinate enough) And after i cam out the loser teenager working the counter yelled at me! the nerve.....he threatened to call the cops so me and my cohort shooter had to make a break for it, and in the process set off the car alarm to our DD's car. ah, to be young again.....
more pics here
This is not a way to fight the system, peeps.....
someone accidentally (so the government would have you think!) drove their car into the wicker park/bucktown library. i know some people hate reading but geez!
I would also like to point out that i was there like a week ago blogging about sparkles my favorite whale *tear* so it could be assumed that this was a hit on my life. Is this library monster a ginger-hater? perhaps the ginger-hater of the week? i think yes.
P.S. chicago folk- get me some pics of this shiz!!! i gotta see it
xoxo
marc jacobs loves ginger sluts!
Friday, August 22, 2008
happy birthday, ginger-mamma!
RIP, sparkles.....
well, im sorry to say that he was put down today. i guess they thought that the yacht would not be able to provide the whale with the adequate nutrition neccessary to survive. CNN reports that australians nick-named the little whale colin. I however, have nicknamed him sparkles, which is a much cooler name for a whale. i also like to think that i am a much better source of news than CNN. baby sparkles, you were awesome and fearless, and totally devoted to that yacht. you will be very missed.
i hope that you are at peace right now at the bottom of the ocean sleeping beside a sunken boat that will be able to watch over you for eternity.
in actuality, you are probably being made into blubber candles or being fried up to be made into some kind of whale sandwich, or whatever the hell else you would do with a whale. stupid australia. you killed my sparkles.
the full story here
Thursday, August 21, 2008
gingerfoxxx sightings!
*that guy was such a douche. if you happen to ever be walking by that place, feel free to spit on the door men in the name of gingerfoxxx!
She did however get in without paying a cover! (being ginger will get you everywhere; its like the american express of hair colors!) She then proceeded to dance on bars with midgets and create an environment of general anarchy. We visited another club after that, but i'll be damned if we stayed their long, because the music and boys were just not hot enough. We ended the night at Mothers, where we encountered a group of tall single boys to buy us drinks and entertain us until the wee hours of the morning. We even got to see a chicago sunrise as we all walked home. how romantic! how gingerfab!
DISCLAIMER:
while gingerfoxxx in no way endorses or condones the act of marriage, she only wished the best for tammy and her amazing ability to love and commit. I cant even commit to a pair of shoes. you are truly gingerfab.
You know your in love.....
when you absolutely give up on life!!!
really lindsay???
put on a fucking bra!! we've all come to expect this shit from britney spears and jessica simpson, but you have ginger style to uphold. its not just about you any more. you're ginger, you need to look good for the world! i know you are in love, and you've found a lovely young man to......
.....what??
...........wow........ouch..........
i digress! whoever you choose to bang, you have a social responsibility to uphold to always look fabulous and wear a bra! i can not bear this ginger-fabulous weight all alone lindsay......please come back.....some sequins....heels maybe? anything. just lose the baggy tank and faded gray jeans. for me. for your people.
*its been brought to my attention that i also own a pair of faded gray skinny jeans. am i in love also? yes, yes i am. with myself. can you blame me? i look fabulous in those jeans......
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Ginger watch, '08
Guns n' Roses, Madagascar - gunsnroses.us from bkjfk on Vimeo.
Monday, August 18, 2008
ginger-fab for life!
remember ginger from the show giligan's island? she was by far the hottest most fabulous girl on that island.
ever wonder what happened to her?
well......
she just turned 74, and is still as ginger fabulous as ever!!!
i can only hope that when i am 74, i look this amazing.
Tina Louise (Ginger) you are a ginger icon!!
xoxo!!
awwwwwwwww
Sunday, August 17, 2008
hey bitches!
*to clarify, i was dancing on a bar counter with a midget. there is a slow recovery time for debauchery like that!
xoxo
our lady of ginger foxxxiness.........
remember the fullerton waterstain that appeared 3 years ago that everyone SWORE is the image of mary? in case you were concerned, its still there, still guarded by fresh flowers and constantly burning candles, and still looking like a water stain. but i figure a little blessing from the virgin mary couldnt hurt, so when in rome!
i've been saved from all my sinful ginger ways! now that my slate has been wiped clean, gingerfoxxx is ready to bring her extra-fabulous self out to paint the town ginger!!
logan bar and grill- skip it.
sorry bitches, wasnt impressed.
ginger tunes!
this band is totally me new flavor of the week. kudos for the amazing music video that involves birthing PBR~
Anything can happen on a thurdsay....
we then headed to lotties, because its fabulous. although the door guy was rude about my girlish good looks being to girlish. i thought being young and hot was a good thing? we wound up entering a rock paper scissors tournament. i won some jameson paraphernalia for my quick thinking, but maya took second place in the whole bar! so close to regionals!
we decided to end the night with a round of scrabble (double points for dirty words) at lemmings. i was a little leary of going to lemmings because last time we were swarmed with creepy guys while a tornado raged outside, but it went much better this time. shooter and a friend even joined us to cheer us on! although some help is needed in an ongoing debate that could affect scrabble dirty word scores. how the hell do you spell jiz? enquiring minds need to know!
our olympic adventures were way cooler then anything in bejing, and none of us are guilty of lying or cheating! (although i think shooter may have been tipping people off to my scrabble letters. bitch.)
gingerfoxxx earned a gold medal in hotness. take that, phelps!
Friday, August 15, 2008
Bigfoot found! and he's ginger!
well now all that has changed! A couple of researchers in northern georgia revealed an actual body today! and the said they have proof of more existing - an entire ginger tribe! the fact that bigfoot is ginger proves that this is the real deal! you cant fake ginger! just to be safe though, biologists and paleontologists are performing an autopsy right now just to be safe.
" The group says the animal is male, has reddish hair and "blackish-gray" eyes and human-like feet, hands and teeth."
meet the newest species of ginger! welcome little ginger friend!
full story
Thursday, August 14, 2008
et tu, red eye?
stop reading my blog and copying me you bastards.
In other important news, i forgot my camera this weekend. sorry all! maybe i will run into some paparazzi that will be able to document my travels instead!
more to come!
xoxo
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Ginger tunes
I dont think you all realize the pressures i face as the ginger socialite, the burden of being the coolest person alive. it leaves me with this inherent need to try and help the rest of you to achieve some level of status, while never matching my own, to ensure you have a more enriching, ginger fabulous life. absorbs these bits of culture, my children......
enjoy!
xoxo
ginger birthday!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
big, sexy, ginger....
ok, i did my best not to do a post on this super fat but lovably ginger cat, and i lasted about 10 days. not bad.
ok, dont think i am condoning obesity, because im not. anyone, especially gingers, should primarily be concerned with being thin and hot.
unless your a giant freaking cat that is so awesome OMG can you believe the size of himmmmm?????
this cat is the sexiest ginger i have EVER seen, (after myself of course) look at his white face and little ginger haircut!! and my god the size of him! he looks like a bowling ball. i just want to drag him around on a scooter all day!*
*like i could lift 44 freaking lbs. thats right, 44lbs.
for those of you who havent been following the saga of prince chunk (he...he he....) this beast was found wondering about new jersey. you know he was surviving by feasting on the jersey homeless. mice? rats?? ha! little snackey cakes when it comes to this guy. i can only assume he devoured his previous owner and began prowling the streets. I DIGRESS. he was found, and his girth made him an instant celebrity. he has been touring the country showing off his mad skills with the ladies. there was even an auction to find him a new owner.
well, low and behold, prince chunk finally has a new home. best wishes to the new owner on fighting off this bitch when he gets hungry.
fatty pants found a new crib!
fatness is totally sexy when your a cat.
Ginger Olympian!
by a strange twist of events, i found myself watching the olympics last night with a few friends (hey, even gingerfoxxx needs a night in every once in a while!) While sitting around watching athletic people has never been my cup of tea, i did happen to notice the ginger competitor on the US mens gymnastics team, Justin Spring!
I think this is one good looking ginger, and i know i am not the only one. and he's really tall for being a gymnast. how dreamy!
the mens gymnastics team placed bronze last night in the olympics right after china and japan, but they won gold in the heart of gingerfoxxx!
hooray for the USA and hooray for justin spring, you are also a gingerfoxxx~
*hey! gingerfoxxx's like myself are few and far between, almost as rare as olympic gold medals!
Monday, August 11, 2008
i love contemporary art movements in the morning!
whatever is a cute ginger girl to do?
Thank goodness for the new bucktown hotspot Duchamp! us girls headed over there to check out the brunch presentation of this restaurant that opened the week before.*
*I actually felt really bad for missing the opening of the restaurant because my friend shooter works in the kitchen there and apparently jazzy jeff was there.
We sat outside on their patio which was very charming. (this used to be the Meritage winebar, but i think i like duchamps better)
The food was amazing! Michael Taus (Zealous) is the chef, but i like to think that shooter was making all of our brunches. (although he purposefully sent out bacon potatoes to me and ray ray. you ass. gingerfoxxx doesnt eat bacon!)
On a side note, this will be a two blog post, because rachel the bathroom critic has an amazing review of the bathrooms there. Not to give too much away, but a spout may have come off a faucet, and water may have sprayed everywhere, and we may have had to make a very stealth exit.
Would i go back? absolutely, the food and atmosphere is amazing. but we may not be allowed back after trashing their bathrooms......
ginger-mobile!
yes the rumors are true. i had to relocate to a college campus during the week in order to finish getting my learn on. but, the plus side is that i am still close enough to chicago to come back on weekends and keep the fun train moving.
now while i would never EVER recommend leaving Chicago, if you are forced to do so, make sure you do so in style. I of course left in the ginger-mobile*
*i would just like to point out that the ginger-mobile chose me! that car wanted to be driven by the best!
its a mustang! and its red! sure we are having a gas crisis and should be focusing our efforts on the reduction of use for natural resources and developing alternative enviromentally friendly methods of transportation but MAN dont i look cool!
**you may have noticed i am sitting in a parked car. like marie gingerfoxxx knows how to drive! she has people to do that for her!
***ok, obviously i am joking. but seriously, i had to teach myself to drive. at least i didnt hit anything!
Saturday, August 9, 2008
very bad ginger
in case your concerned about my sudden outburst, let me explain. very few things bring me to a state of rage. however at the top of that list, right after parents putting their kids in crocs, is KATY PERRY. that stupid "i kissed a girl" song actually makes my ears BLEED. rather than ignoring it like it were a homeless person, this bitch decides to make a video of herself doing a horrible parody of the song. This is war! you are either on team katy perry, or team gingerfoxxx! and pheobe price, you are on the wrong team!
oh, and im hotter than you!
oh! and im also a better singer!
bitch.
click if your a masochist
NOOOOO!!!!
i know this blog is all about ginger fun, but lets take one minute to be serious.
Bernie Mac died this morning! Chicago lost two great things this weekend, but only one can come back!
(if you didnt know, bernie mac had been in a chicago hospital suffering from pneumonia. they thought he was on the mend but apparently took a turn for the worse. He was only 50 years old!)
You lived a good life Bernie, Chicago and the world will miss you, and gingerfoxxx will miss you too!!
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
xoxo chicago
yes the rumors are true. gingerfoxxx has to leave the city for a little while. not to worry however, she will be back frequently, and her amazing ginger chronicles shouldnt suffer. they might suffer a little over the next two days because i will be in transit, and i have a wicked cold from toooo much fun, so i need a little time to rest.
fear not, i will be back with a vengeance
a balls to the wall ginger extravaganza.
for the time being i leave you with this! (even though i am leaving by car and not plane)
xoxo my beautiful city
i am ironmannnnn
i know a few of you were concerned that i would end this summer with out seeing ironman. rest assured, i finally saw it tonight! and it was fabulous. of course we have pepper pots sexing up the big screen with her ginger abilities, but even more importantly, robert downey jr!!! eeeeee! they had gwyneth paltrow playing pepper pots, which i have to question (i was free, why didnt you call?) but even i have to admit she's not half bad as a ginger.
one issue that does need to be discussed - the color scheme of the iron man suit. i feel the colors were outdated, and rather garish when combined. the gold and red was just so tacky, like something found at you grandmothers (if your grandmother was iron man)
i liked the silver prototype better, and if i were iron man, i would choose to wear that one and look all the more stylish.
gingers rock platinum, ya heard?
Bad Ginger!
"TYLER, Texas (AP) -- An East Texas man took part in "pure evil" by helping to run swinger parties that forced children as young as 5 to have sex, prosecutors told jurors as the Mineola Swinger's Club trial began.
"They were forced to do indescribable acts," Smith County prosecutor Joe Murphy said. "These acts were their life."
Patrick "Booger Red" Kelly, an alleged member of the club, is charged with engaging in organized criminal activity and aggravated sexual assault of a child. He pleaded not guilty.
Kelly's defense team postponed its opening statements Tuesday, when the trial finally began after several delays. Molestation charges filed in June against a foster parent given custody of the victims stalled the trial for more than a month, and began an almost constant filing of court motions.
If convicted, Kelly potentially faces life in prison. That was the sentence two others linked to the club received earlier this year."
full story here!swingers are cool.
child swingers, not so cool. you have brought shame to the entire ginger population!
thats jank.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
top 5 pick up lines of this summer!
we survived the tornado!
how does chicago welcome me back? tornadoes.....thanks chicago.
while Armageddon waged war on the city, gingerfoxxx made the best of it by bar hopping in between storm fronts! The one downside of hitting the taps when there is a tornado outside, is that it makes it a lot harder to leave when the creepy guys start to get a little too friendly!
We started the night by grabbing some jimmy johns and heading down to brew and view (i actually used my sandwich to flag a bus down! thanks jimmy john!) however as we were walking there, the rain began. cradling our sandwiches, we sought cover in the vic. but what do we find? brew and view has been cancelled because of technical difficulties. we sat in the rain, eating our jimmy johns, and devising a new plan. we headed to big city tap to escape from the ever increasing rain. Big city was able to offer me $3 grey goose cocktails, but little else. This is where the storm reallllly started! within a few minutes all the satellites went out. I got a call from a friend on the southside who was cowering in her basement with no power trying to escape a tornado.
this shit just got real!
so of course we ordered one last drink and tried to figure a way out of this situation. While this anarchy was occurring outside, we were starting to get cornered by some of the creepy old regulars at the bar. unfortunately they flocked to my beautiful red hair like moths to a flame. i started to think i was better off with the tornado, when the A-bomb of bad pick-up lines was dropped. "do you want to go home with me and gang bang my girlfriend?"
.........................
.........................
no really, how does one even respond to that?? with that we went back into the storm. we stopped at schuba's on our way to lemmings and were faced with travesty. some hipster band was playing and they had actually run out of PBR! how does that even happen? in all fairness though, they did have a photobooth (yea!) and we found a CSS sticker in the corner! nice.
from there we headed to our last destination near the homestead. it was at this time we realized how bad the storm was! there were trees everywhere! all these cute little BMW's smashed to pieces. we even snapped some photos, and met some friendly little hipsters doing the same thing!
lemmings still had some PBR left (thank goodness!) however once we got in the storms came back with a vengeance! and so did the aggressive creepy guys! To summarize, i am pretty glad i had rachel by my side to scream at people and let them know sexual assault just dont fly. I am also thinking of hiring a body guard to accompany me from now on for all my bar excursions. preferably a tall handsome incredibly sexy bodyguard.
submit applications to thegingerfoxxx@gmail.com!!
and check out some pics of my beautiful city in ruins~ but rest assured, gingerfoxxx came out on top, she always does...
...........
...........
..........
thats what she said!
Monday, August 4, 2008
sweet home chicago, here i come!
stop blasting that sexy bitch for being a homewrecker!
turns out matthew brodericks sexy ginger lover came SJP approved~they have an open marriage!
lindz was in chicago!
Sunday, August 3, 2008
breaking news!
Saturday, August 2, 2008
milwaukee can you handle this?
lets make love, and listen to death from above!
i'd also like to show some ginger love to the city of milwaukee. while your not chicago, your super fun, and full of cubs fans, cold beer, and hot gingers like myself! your people are pretty awesome too, as everyone we encountered was more than willing to help show us a fabulous time. I fully admit that on occasion, i poke fun at hipsters, but hipsters, you redeemed yourself this weekend! when we were unsuccessfully searching for the venue in downtown milwaukee, we saw a couple wearing skinny pants and took a chance. not only did they know where it was, they were going, and they enthusiastically invited us to follow them. The boy hipster was even from chicago! So thanks guys, your cool in my book.
Turner ballroom was a great venue, especially the enormous bathrooms! (for a full review, check out rachel the bathrooms critics blog) They had $3 PBR tallboys, and there was plenty of space to dance and get a good view of the show. this band matt and kim played first and i thought they were just beyond gingerfab. even though they were having some technical difficulties, they had a lot of fun stories and kept me really entertained. The go team followed, and they put on a really fierce show. i am little suspicious that the lead singer stole all of her dance moves from ME, but she used it well so i'll let this one slide. CSS closed the house and put on the most gingerfab show ever! their clothes, their dance moves, their playlist, everything was great. you need to be checking out this band if you havent already.
After the show, we talked to some of the hipsters outside and even met some people from chicago! and everyone kept saying how great my shoes are, which is awesome. We caught a cab to this bar for the after party, so that we could catch CSS doing a dj set. The set up was nice, but it was a little quiet for what i am used to on a thursday night. after all, thursday is the new friday. and friday is the new sunday. and saturday is just obsolete at this point. The band showed up and everything was very low-key. we even got to talk to them for a while and let them know we liked the show. They were playing lollapalooza friday, so we talked a little about chicago. there set was a little short (they had to wait almost an hour to start!) and i think they would have like more time, but they seemed to have a good time, and so did we! they even played some b-52's, one of my favs (i mean how sexy is the b-52's ginger singer??). Overall, the night was just too much fun to write about, so next time, you should just be there if you can handle the awesomeness that is gingerfoxxx. i warn you, few can.
The Go Team!
CSS